A Daughter’s Loss Is a Gained Angel
Hello, I’m 21 years old and still not sure it’s really real after losing my Father is September to brain cancer at the age of 44 years old. Just in August we celebrated his birthday, losing his has changed my life forever, my life is not the same without him and as I held his hand as he took his last breaths, I fell like I lost apart of myself in that room on September 19, 2013. In 2006 my Dad had a brain tumor and they were able to get 95% out, leaving 5% in.
Chemo was had and radiation was successful and I had my Dad back, we did so much together. Was blessed to have him on my birthdays, holidays, and all the family gatherings. My Dad is a twin and he is also the child of 9 kids, so my Dad’s side of the family is huge to say the least. Then on November 14th, 2012 my step-mom had noticed my Dad not acting himself and she is a nurse so she had in the back of her head that if the tumor was back but his last MRI in February 2012 was clear. And she took him to the doctor and he had another brain tumor in the shape of a dun bell. He was told if he didn’t have surgery he would have a couple of months and with the surgery they would give him six months. He had surgery the next day and the doctors words was “he felt comfortable with what he was able to get”.
They gave my Dad 3 months in March 2013 and being my age and just the relationship I had with my Dad and the kind of man he was, I didn’t want a day to go by without seeing or talking to my Dad, although I wasn’t going to baby him because with him being a prison guard he was the man of the house. Having three younger sisters and a brother all younger than me ranging from age 8-16 probably hurts me the most realizing that he is gone. For the last month my Dad lost his ability to walk, run, drive, and most importantly talk… he was a talker, but the one thing the cancer didn’t take away from him was his smile.
The night he died, I watched and held his hand as he took his last breathes. I cant explain it or not sure if it makes sense, but I’m glad I didn’t miss that moment, but it was by far the hardest thing I have ever faced in my entire life. Now that he is gone I cant help but think about he every single day, thinking about when I get married, I don’t even have kids yet…
I haven’t even graduated college yet, in a year I will. Just so hard to understand why this happened to my Dad and why so young, why not one brain tumor but two. But my Dad. I would never wish this upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. I miss him so much and although I have a great support system, I just feel like no one understands how it feels to lose a parent like that, no one should have to die like that.