Unknown future

I got diagnosed with a braintumor this february and it was quite a shock because I went to the hospital because we thought my sinusitis had caused a meningitis (The first week I only had the sinusitis, but in the second week my neck started to hurt and I had to puke all the time)
After a MRI they told us that there was something blocking the “outflow” for the liquor in my brain and I had to be operated because the pressure in my brain was already really high, what caused all the puking.

Since then a few months have passed, I had to go to the MRI two times since then and it always grew 1mm in 3 months. In July it was 9mm big and my next MRI will be in October. The tumor is not operable and I haven’t had a biopsy yet but they think it might be a Ependymom or Gangliogliom. Most of the time I am not afraid of this thing in my head, because I am really interested in medicine. I also want to study medicine after school, because I want to help other kids in my situation later, too.

Even though the doctors think the tumor will not become dangerous for me, I sometimes have a really strange feeling, that all of this will turn out really bad – sometimes I even have the feeling I will die because of this, I can’t explain it. But I try to ignore this feeling most of the time and I also don’t want to scare my family.

So yeah, basically I’m just a normal teenage girl from Germany who started the 11th grade a week ago. I hope I can continue going to school and the tumor doesn’t decide to destroy this for me.

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