The End of My World as I Knew It

In December 2021, I was diagnosed with glioblastoma. I had been having headaches, which was unusual for me, and experienced an olfactory hallucination. Because I had just bought a condo in Washington, DC, I initially thought there might be some environmental cause for the headaches and burning smell, but I was a medical editor, and as much as I hated to believe it, I suspected a brain tumor.

I had an MRI at Georgetown Hospital, which revealed that was indeed the cause. A wonderful surgeon, Dr. Vinay Deshmukh, was able to remove a significant portion of the tumor; however, because I had also recently gotten divorced (I have excellent timing, clearly; fortunately, my former husband and I have remained close friends, and his support has been vital) it wasn’t feasible for me to stay in the condo, so I had to sell it and return to the area where I grew up in central Virginia in order to receive treatment at UVA and be closer to my family. 

The tumor recurred after some radiation and chemotherapy, and I’ve had 2 subsequent surgeries; during the most recent one in June 2023, I had a stroke that affected my left side, so I am currently at a rehab center where I am working on regaining my mobility so that I can return to my apartment as soon as possible. The stroke has been even more devastating to me than the cancer diagnosis, but I am trying my best to apply myself to the therapy program and am thankful to the dedicated staff here who help people who experience tumultuous medical events. I have always been fiercely independent and this experience had challenged so many of my beliefs about myself. For instance, I have had to be forgiving of myself for choosing to have this most recent surgery; although the others went well overall, I failed to accurately account for the statistical odds of experiencing a complication like a stroke (again, I worked as a medical editor, so I should have factored in those odds). I’m not afraid to die, but I’m not ready to die: I have so many books to read, songs to listen to, friends to spend time with, and beautiful dresses to wear. Which is why I’m going to try radiation therapy one more time: no more surgeries, though.

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Opinions expressed within this story belong solely to the author and do not reflect the views or opinions of the National Brain Tumor Society.