Losing the Love of My Life

Once the diagnosis was given of GBM stage 4, Kenny chose to have radiation and chemo.

The hard part to that was the doctor wanted Kenny to stay in a nursing facility close to the hospital. I was not able to stay with him and had to travel back and forth, an hour and 15 minutes, for the 6 weeks of radiation. He didn’t like being without me and I was exhausted driving back and forth.

We came home and had a hog roast to celebrate Kenny’s life. We invited all who knew him from grade school to adulthood. He wanted to see people and party with them. It was the best day we could have asked for. I remember him staying up all night and going over all the people he connected with that night. He stared at the stars and enjoyed how beautiful everything was.

During all this time, he had side effects. He would become confused on what he was doing. His brain said one thing and his hands said another. That would really frustrate him. He began getting worse with using utensils to feed himself, he stayed in a wheelchair all the time.

I was blessed to have our daughter there to help him when I worked. Our granddaughters entertained him.

The hardest side effect was when he felt like he was on fire. I couldn’t make it stop. He wasn’t on fire but his brain was telling him he was.

We returned to Columbus 4 weeks after his last radiation treatment for an MRI. Kenny wanted to stop at the nursing home before going to his appointment. He was saying his goodbyes to his favorite people there. He knew he wouldn’t be returning again.

Once we saw the neurological oncologist, he told us the there was no change from the treatment. Actually it was worse. He started to inform us that another round of radiation and chemo could be started again.

My dear husband said no more and looked at me to ask if that was okay. With tears in my eyes I told him to do whatever he felt he needed to do.

We went home and hospice would be coming to our home. Kenny wanted to be at home. Many people visited him, he enjoyed being outdoors and listening to music. Those are the special memories I have of my love.

He made me laugh, cry, and enjoy having him in my life. Kenny died 8 days after leaving the doctors office on October 1, 2017.
It’s hard to say everything you need to say to the love of your life in just 4 months. I can’t remember the majority of those 4 months – just knew Kenny was going to leave this earth without me for now.

As I researched GBM it was said to be rare, but now there have been at least 10 more cases in our area. May they all rest in peace and a cure be found for anyone afflicted with GBM.

— Tammy

---

Opinions expressed within this story belong solely to the author and do not reflect the views or opinions of the National Brain Tumor Society.