Why Can’t I Talk?

I love to drive 2 – 3 hours to somewhere new to me, take my 2 Cavalier King Charles Spaniels and my camera, and go on a combination dog walk and photography trip. I rent a place that allows pets for a couple of nights. This time, May 2021, I rented a cottage in Eastern Shore, MD.

Usually, it’s a relaxing trip. I talk with locals, get any available maps, and lay out my daily plans. Having done all that, I had a fun first day, walking and taking shots of the gorgeous scenery and Chesapeake Bay. However, that night, something was wrong.

The door to get into the unit was a combination lock. I took a dog outside with no phone, no car key, no note with the combination. I forgot what it was, completely. No problem all day, and I forgot it at 10 p.m. I prayed, I cried. I had no memory of the combination and no where to go. Finally, thank God, the numbers did come to me. But it was a terrifying experience.

The next day, I tried to order lunch at an outdoor cafe. On the menu, I could see the panini I wanted and say it in my mind…….but I couldn’t say it to the waitress. I couldn’t find the words verbally. I pointed to it and nodded, scared. What was happening?

Though I had no other symptoms or episodes (as yet), I decided to leave that afternoon, a day early. I slowly tested my driving skills and, very fortunately, I still had them.

On the way home, I tried to talk with one of my friends. I searched for words and couldn’t find them. She told me I was having a stroke and to call 911. But I was driving well and had the 2 dogs in the car and continued driving. My son, who lives a couple of hours away from me, left his home to drive to my house. I dropped the dogs home and drove to my hospital’s ER.

There, I continued with the word searching, but no other symptoms. I had a CAT Scan and an MRI. The doctors, including a neurologist and later a neuro surgeon, returned to my bedside.

“Well, here you are with your brain tumor,” said the neurologist. I was flabbergasted. I knew my brain was not behaving, but I hadn’t thought it would be a tumor.

The neuro surgeon explained my next couple of days. I had swelling, so I would have to take steroids for a couple of days before the craniotomy. He also said it was a glioblastoma, which is a very aggressive type of brain tumor. After the surgery, I would need radiation and chemo.

My homework would be to find the best cancer care medical system near me. I have friends who know people who help people make those kinds of decisions. I followed their advice and am a patient at a very well respected, nationally known teaching center with robust cancer treatments.

I have tolerated all my treatments, but cancer truly is a journey. It does change your life. Cancer treatments come first and asking for help, as well as accepting it, are also vitally important. My family, friends and neighbors have been very supportive. I am beyond grateful. They drive me into the city, visit and call, and help me keep my spirits up. I have found it really is true that finding something enjoyable to be thankful for and look forward to each day is a game changer. I love to walk and it keeps my body healthy as well as my mood uplifted. My dogs love it too.

TAGGED WITH: #GBMDay

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Opinions expressed within this story belong solely to the author and do not reflect the views or opinions of the National Brain Tumor Society.