Let me tell you, I was not very merry or enjoying the holiday season of 2016. When they did the brain surgery to remove the tumor in February 2017, they discovered it was an astrocytoma-diffused…meaning it is incurable and will keep coming back probably until it kills me, but I am blessed that my tumor is slow growing (thank you, God, for throwing me a bone here)! Living with a nebulous yet almost guaranteed expiration date is tough. I was scared to death but putting lipstick on this pig like nobody’s business so they wouldn’t worry about me. Every morning instead of being grateful, I felt like I had cement boots on walking through molasses, just trying to get through the day without thinking about this ticking time bomb in my head.
I have just recently felt a shift in me, though; I need to freely feel and walk through my pain and fear – not polish it up for everyone, but face it head on, embrace it and see it as an opportunity to redefine myself at age 46…slow down, be present and truly “in the moment” each day, not future tripping and wasting precious time worrying. Some days I can still feel overwhelmed, but I want my husband and kids seeing me fight through it every single day with laughter instead of doom and gloom. Thank you for reading a bit of my story. ~Kel (the name Kelly means “Warrior” – I never felt it suited me until now!)