My little sister needs a Halo

My sister Lacey is the kind of person that everyone likes. She can get along with all crowds and without judgement, over sensitive, caring, fun, outgoing , she is /was soooo good. Now that I look back people like her make the saying, the good die young. It’s happening right now so this story is very hard for me, being her older sister by five years.  I’m the one who made all the unhealthy choices and screw ups – she did everything right. Ohh and I’m not just saying that! I use to think she learned from me, probably some, but she was just so lovely, good to my kids, close to them all. Always the best gift-giver.

She and I have different fathers and she longed to meet hers when mine started to pay attention. If she had a bucket list that would definatly  be on it. She moved to St. John NB to meet Randy Bryan, wife and two twin brothers. It was ok for a bit, her brothers got to know a wonderful older sister, and her father probably proud of her because he produced such a smart beautiful young lady.

She then went to UNB, a university in New Brunswick, graduated, worked at a bank, met a man with three kids, everything couldn’t be better, until her hands would freeze as she was counting out cash for customers at BMO. Later we found out it was small seizures, It was scary, but we never expected this…. It then got to the point where we had to figure it out, everything they assumed it to be came out negative. I remember hoping for MS at one point. Things were getting more difficult, finally a MRI showed a tumor, and it was supposed to be benign. She seemed ok, scared but not a death sentence…

On the annual check up the tumor had grown, the only option they could do was open head surgery, and the tumor was close to the brain stem, something to think about. Maybe it will stop growing or treatments? Then the tumors were worse, everything got worse – black outs. What once seemed manageable was no longer – 2 tumors. Well open head surgery which took the whole day. Scary! It was for nothing, they couldn’t take any of these nasty growths out, electrolytes all around them, but the surgery showed the doctors there was cancer cells. All this crap my sister was going through, she is the strongest person I know… All she did was comfort everyone else. Not a worry for herself, I miss the feeling of her beautiful hands… When we’d cry together, talking about bad news… Which seemed to be more often then ever.

Lacey spent her 34th birthday in palative care, she still doesn’t know this and was unresponsive, from a mixture of a sun stroke and a blood clot in her liver. It’s now July 25th and she did get to go home. She is a fighter.

I don’t agree with my family choices – letting her boyfriend’s family make every decision. I have sooo many regrets. She’s not gone yet. I am angry. She was given a three months diagnosis, three and a half months ago and never told mom or me. I can’t understand this…. She did say once not long ago, I won’t know it’s you guys who will be left behind, I think that’s most people’s biggest fears. I can’t imagine life without Lacey. I’m asking for your prayers, were poor but if there is a prayer that works it’s priceless, and that would be the best gift…

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