In late 2009, I had a Grand Mal Seizure. A few months prior to this date I thought I was truly going crazy and needed to be institutionalized! I was not sleeping, my head was pounding, I was seeing and hearing things that were not there and I could not even remember my kids names at times. I was diagnosed with an Anaplastic Oliogodendroglioma, gold ball sized in my right frontal lobe, after a month on steroids and anti-seizure meds, I had a craniotomy. Chemo and radiation would not let me heal, I had many infections and had 7 surgeries total, the last one the doctors inserted a plate in my head, that was 6 weeks ago. The radiation killed half my brain and god only knows what chemo did to the rest of it.
Lots of scar tissue still shows up in my MRIs. A day that I do not think about cancer is a helluva a great day for me, it was consuming my family and for me. I still have seizures and am not sure if they will go away on their own or if I will have to live with them, which makes riding my touring motorcycle hard to do without being paranoid about it. I can no longer continue with my career of being a Deputy Fire Staff Officer for the Forest Service. My life has changed and I feel like there is a black cloud over my head waiting for the cancer to come back as a stage 4 GBM! I have to live my life for me and my kids though. So, I struggle at times, but other times I think it is what it is and keep on going!